Oh hey, I keep forgetting to tell you that I had the most ridiculously perfect meet-cute the other day. I almost feel bad about it, really, because it was completely wasted on me (what with my being in a monogamous relationship with someone I love very much, and I didn’t fancy the other person, and so on). It should have happened to someone else. But at least I appreciated it aesthetically.
So to get to my office from the bus-stop I cut across the small outdoor office car-park. It was a sunny day with a gentle breeze. As I turned the corner into the car-park there was a black car idling in the middle of the car-park, and I glimpsed the driver’s door shutting. Then, as I was walking towards it, the car started to drive off. But the driver had left a small pile of papers on the roof, and of course they immediately blew off and came fluttering down on the ground behind the car.
Of course I dash the couple of yards to where the papers are falling and start to scoop them up. The car has stopped. I’ve gathered most of the sheets up from behind the car and there’s one more sheet round the driver’s side so I move round, still crouching and looking at the ground.
As I pick up the last piece of paper, the bottom of the driver’s door is in my field of vision and I see it open. Onto the ground outside the door steps a smart black carbon-fibre blade, then another. With my hands full of papers, I start to straighten up. Pan up to show a pair of dark formal trousers, a crisp white shirt with the top two buttons undone, and finally a handsome smiling face — imagine a more boyish Chiwetel Ejiofor with shoulder-length dreadlocks.
At this point, since this wasn’t a rom-com and probably neither of us was actually attracted to the other, I just handed over the papers and their owner said ‘thanks’ and got back in the car and drove off, and if any papers were still left on the ground then I didn’t see them because I’d already started walking on to the door of the building.
It wasn’t until later that I even realized this had been a classic meet-cute. If it had been a film, there’d have been dramatic eye-contact and a funny-awkward-charming exchange of remarks, and maybe boyish-Ejiofor would’ve driven off and I’d have seen, too late, that a single sheet of paper remained, and it would’ve turned out to have a phone number or address on it, and so on and so on.
Yeah, it seems like a bit of a waste. But hopefully you’ve found it entertaining, and, hey, if you’re a writer, do feel free to use it! (Unless you’re going to make boyish-Ejiofor white and / or able-bodied, in which case I will instruct a very good lawyer and sue your pants off.) And if you’re looking for luuurve then I wish you a similarly cute meet of your own.
