I just had a take-away curry. It was really nice, but I have one complaint. It was called ‘hydra lamb’. When my flatmate got it out of the bag and said, ‘Here’s yours’, I said, ‘Has it got seven heads?’
Wouldn’t it have been the best thing ever if she’d been able to say, ‘Yes! It has seven heads… OF BROCCOLI!’
But no. It didn’t have seven heads of anything. Nor, when I ate a fork-full of it, did two fork-fulls appear in its place.
And yes, I know seven heads of broccoli would be a massive amount of broccoli for a single serving of anything. But I’d be prepared to eat a massive amount of broccoli for the sake of a Greek mythology pun told through the medium of Indian food.